Every marriage and every divorce is different. I can only speak for myself by saying that divorce was something I was contemplating for years before I ever said a word to anyone about it. I thought, like many others, I would stay together for the children. Being a child of divorce, I didn’t want to put my children through the same hell I went through. One day I was out to lunch with my sister. We were just talking about life in general and I found myself blurting out, “I want a divorce”. My sister didn’t know what to say, but it didn’t really matter. I felt free. For the first time in years I actually said what was bottled up inside of me for so long. I knew once I actually said it out loud it was true. It was not just some random thought I could hide from everyone; it was for the first time “real”.
Once I revealed the truth to my sister and actually said the “D” word out loud, I knew I had to act on it. It was like I found the key to open a door that I had wanted to go through for years. With my sisters’ support, I knew I was going to be okay.
If you are the one who wants a divorce, there is no “right or wrong” time to ask for one. Deep down inside your soul you know what it is you want to do. As a stay-at-home mother working on her masters’ degree I was scared. I didn’t know where I would live, where I would work, how would the children react, and a bunch of other stuff. Take one step at a time and trust yourself. I will never regret going to lunch with my sister that day. That was the day I found myself again and I have never looked back.
Cathy-
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