Friday, July 27, 2012

Boise Criminal Defense Attorneys - DUI Lawyers (208) 472-2383 - Does DUI Apply to Riding a Bike Drunk?

 As a Boise Criminal Defense Attorney I see a lot of off the wall things.  Sometimes they are laws that make a ton of sense but are applied wrong and other times they are down right ridiculous situations.  DUI laws are in place to protect us, but sometimes they fall short.  Driving Under the Influence refers to operating a motor vehicle under the influence of drugs or alcohol.  The key word here is "motor vehicle".  I bring this distinction up because on Wednesday, in downtown Boise, there was an accident caused by an individual who was under the influence of alcohol.  He ran a red light and crashed into a car.  The thing is, he was riding a bicycle.  He wasn't charged with DUI.  Instead, he was cited for running a red light.

Can You Get a DUI on a Bike?
The man wasn't charged with DUI because the law doesn't apply to bikes.  The irony here is that if you are riding a bike when you are drunk you can cause harm to yourself or to others, just like you can if you are driving a vehicle under the influence of drugs or alcohol.  A further goofy situation this causes is, what constitutes a motor vehicle?  You can be cited for DUI if you are riding a scooter and are drunk, but does that apply to an electric scooter?  What if you are riding a bike that has a motor attached?  What if you are riding a bike that has a motor attached but you are riding it using the pedals?  You can see how the situation quickly becomes ridiculous.  The short answer is, no, you cannot get a DUI operating a bicycle when you are drunk.

What Happens if You Cause an Accident Operating a Bicycle Under the Influence?
In true Criminal Lawyer fashion I will say, the answer to this depends upon the situation.  If you run a red light and cause an accident, you will be cited with failure to obey a traffic signal.  If you are riding your bike drunk in a disorderly fashion you might be charged with disorderly conduct or public drunkenness.  If you are drunk on your bike and you crash into the state of Idaho property and cause it harm, you might be charged with destruction of public property - and the list goes on.  This isn't fancy criminal attorney foot work, it just is the state of the law in Idaho.

If you have been charged with a DUI or other crime in Idaho and need to speak to a Boise Criminal Defense Attorney or Boise DUI Lawyer, please give us a call, 208-472-2383 - You will be glad you did.

Wednesday, July 25, 2012

Divorce Communications at the Divorce Expo in August

There is a developing market for large scale divorce expos and conferences in the U.S.  The service community for divorcing and divorced individuals is expanding and companies are starting to take notice of this large market.

“Start Over Smart” is a company started by a mother and daughter whose lives were affected by divorce.  It is an expo where men and women can find various resources and information about divorce.

“The Divorce Expo” is another company that has become a huge hit with divorcing people as it brings resources and speakers to various parts of the country. Kim Kick, LCSW of Divorce Communications will be a featured speaker at the Chicago Conference and Expo in August. Kim’s topic is on “Letting Go” and how to move on after divorce. 

It is great to see the community as a whole embrace the idea of divorce in a manner that is helpful and positive. Divorce Communications will also be at The Divorce Expo in Chicago this August providing information on their solution oriented service and how it benefits parents who are no longer together.


Copyright © 2012 Divorce Communications. All Rights Reserved.

Ashton Kutcher snapped with Mila Kunis - does this complicate his divorce from Demi?

Despite Ashton Kutcher and Demi Moore having separated over a year ago after a six year marriage, his alleged new relationship with former co-star Mila Kunis has apparently left Demi heartbroken. The couple split in November last year after reports of the Two and a Half Men star’s cheating. Ashton and Mila’s new relationship is apparently so strong they are more or less living with each other – what effect could this have on Ashton’s as yet un-finalised divorce and financial settlement?

Living with a new partner before a divorce settlement is agreed can complicate matters in England and Wales. The fact that one spouse has moved on so quickly can cause upset and anger but what about the legal consequences?

Any actual or intended cohabitation has to be disclosed; if you keep this secret it could undermine any settlement reached. Living with someone can also have an impact on your finances. For example your outgoings are likely to be lower as you will be sharing bills and living costs with your new partner. Cohabitation is however not a black and white issue. If you need to know where you stand you should take divorce advice from an expert family lawyer.

For more divorce advice read our family law blog or follow us on Twitter @Divorce_experts

Monday, July 23, 2012

Domestic Violence is still an issue

Recently, we posted a blog detailing the extra powers given to the police in Greater Manchester in situations where there is domestic violence. In light of this we note that today the Director of Public Prosecutions has announced improved conviction rates but confirms that more needs to be done to protect victims and prosecute offenders.

At Pannone, we have experience of divorces and disputes concerning children where there are allegations of domestic violence but the victim of the abuse does not report the incident to the police. According to the latest statistics only 25% of victims who suffer abuse actually report it. Explanations put forward by the victims we meet are that they are fearful of repercussions or they are concerned about what their children may think. Sometimes, the police have been contacted and have failed to act and the victim then denies the abuse.

A Domestic Violence Protection Order means that the Police can keep a violent partner away from their home and prevent them from contacting the victim for up to 28 days without the need to bring criminal charges. The intention is to give the victim some respite.

At Pannone, we have a team of family lawyers who frequently advise clients in relation to domestic abuse.

Read more divorce advice on our family law blog or follow us on twitter @Divorce_experts.

Friday, July 20, 2012

Boise DUI Lawyers - Criminal Defense Attorneys (208) 472-2383 DUI Types in Idaho

As a Boise DUI Attorney people often express their exasperation to me about DUI law in general.  One particular thing that really gets people wondering is the use of various terms in criminal law.  Excessive, Aggravated and DWI are three terms people always ask me about.

What is the Difference Between a DWI and a DUI?
Many criminal attorneys answer this as a regular part of their criminal law practice.  Most forty-five + year olds remember the days when the drinking age was 19 (18 in some states) and if you got caught driving while intoxicated you were charged with a DWI.  DWI means just that.  It was changed, however, because the law encompasses more than mere intoxication.  You can also be impaired as a driver if you are driving under the influence of drugs, whether they are illegal drugs, like marijuana or meth, or legal prescription or over the counter drugs.  The term DUI means driving under the influence which incorporates under the influence of drugs or alcohol.

Excessive DUI
There is ordinary DUI charge and there is a charge for an excessive DUI.  A standard DUI means that you were operating a motor vehicle with a blood alcohol content of .08% or greater or under the influence of drugs.  An excessive DUI means that you were driving with a BAC of .2% or greater.  It is excessive because the level of impairment created.

The penalty for an excessive DUI is basically one step up from a regular DUI.  The penalty for a first time excessive DUI is the same as for a second time DUI.  The tiered penalty is created because of the degree of impairment.

Aggravated DUI
As a Boise DUI Lawyer people often ask me what the difference between an excessive DUI and an aggravated DUI is.  Excessive has to do with the amount of alcohol in your system and the degree of impairment, whereas aggravated is a term used to describe the level of harm or potential harm.  An aggravated DUI means that you were driving under the influence of alcohol or drugs and you caused an accident which caused great bodily harm, disfigurement or death to another individual.

Any DUI charge is a serious circumstance.  If you want the best representation available from a Boise DUI Attorney give us a call today, 208-472-2383 - you will be glad you did.

Cracking the Pension Pot

It has been reported today that hundreds of thousands of people often overlook their entitlement to a share of their spouse’s pension on divorce.

Since 2000, the court has had the power to order pension trustees to debit the pension pot of one spouse and credit the amount to a new fund in the other spouse’s name. These orders are usually made with the aim of sharing a couple’s total pension fund between them equally.

Problems can arise a when spouse ignores the other’s pension or fails to obtain a proper valuation of the pension fund. Overlooking pensions is common among younger couples who tend to feel that pensions are of little immediate relevance to them.

Pensions can have significant values and can act as a good source of income for the future. They should not be ignored under any circumstances and here at Pannone we always recommend that specialist pension advice is sought.

At Pannone we have a large team of family solicitors who can offer you specialist advice regarding the divorce process and the powers of the court when considering financial settlements.

Read more divorce advice on our family law blog or follow us on twitter @Divorce_experts.

Friday, July 13, 2012

Boise Divorce Attorneys (208) 472-2383 - Summer Vacation During a Pending Divorce

Summertime can cause headaches for family law lawyers as well as clients and I don't mean because of the heat.  As a Boise Divorce Attorney I often approach the summer season with trepidation in regard to certain custody issues.  The issue for me is the joint preliminary injunction.  Every time a divorce complaint or a modification motion is filed in Idaho the court automatically attaches a joint preliminary injunction.  This injunction places both parties on notice that they are not allowed to take the children out of the state for more than 72 hours and if they do they will be held in contempt of court and potentially face jail time.  So why do divorce attorneys worry about this and what does it have to do with summer?

Summertime is traditionally vacation time.  Often a family will have gone on the same vacation for years.  When the couple files for divorce one party or the other may still want to take the same vacation and they didn't plan on the joint preliminary injunction being a hurdle to their vacation.  Without proper planning or cooperation, this injunction can cause the vacation not to happen.  So, if you are getting a divorce or a modification does it mean that you can't go on vacation?  Not necessarily, but to prevent a contempt charge their are some things that you have to do first and trying to do them two weeks before vacation is the wrong time to start.

There are two ways that your vacation will stay on track.  You can either have a written and signed agreement between the parties or an order of the court.  The easiest and fastest way to get permission to leave is to ask the other party to allow you to take your child out of the jurisdiction.  Now, while this seems easy, often because communication has broken down, it is not an easy task.  Some strategies I use as a Boise Divorce Attorney is to tell my client to be very specific about where the child will be going, how they will get there, when they will call the other parent and when they will return.  Sometimes this is enough incentive for the other party to say yes.  If they know that they will be able to speak to their child and exactly when they will be back they sometimes are more flexible.  If this is the case, you can get your agreement and go, but you also must follow the agreement.  If you don't, once again you can be facing contempt charges.

The second way to keep your vacation on track is by order of the court.  If the other side simply won't agree to sign, in order for you to legally take your child out of the state for more than 72 hours you must get the court to say that you may.  Here too, the court will be very specific about where the child is going, how they are getting there, when there will be telephone visits with the other parent and when the child is to be returned.  The difficulty family law attorneys run into is when the person wanting to leave the jurisdiction notifies their attorney that they are leaving in two weeks.  This simply is not enough time to get in front of the court.  Clients will often be upset because the other party knew they were going to take the vacation, they traditionally take the vacation and now, out of spite, they refuse to sign an agreement.  Even though it isn't fair and doesn't seem right, that is the law.  The reason it is this way is to prevent one party or the other from fleeing the jurisdiction with the child.

If you have a divorce, custody or modification issue and you need to speak to a Boise Divorce Attorney, give us a call, (208) 472-2383 and see what we can do for you.

Thursday, July 12, 2012

Expelling the Myth of the Quicky Divorce

Talking of the proposals for banking reform on the Andrew Marr show on 8 July 2012, Ed Balls commented that due to the difficulties in changing banks people in Britain stay with the same bank for longer than they stay with their spouses – appearing to suggest that divorce is a much faster and easier process. Ed Balls’ analogy may have been simply to prove a political point, but to take his words seriously, just how quickly can you obtain a divorce?

The divorce process can take as little as 4-6 months where there is some agreement between the parties, but can take up to a year. If a complex financial settlement needs to be sorted out by the courts, the divorce process can be put on hold for a number of years until that happens. By comparison, changing your bank account takes a matter of weeks. Despite the media’s oft alluded to celebrity “quicky” divorce, the process is unlikely to be quicker than changing banks.

But is the process easier? As family lawyers we have met with many different people who require a divorce under vastly different circumstances for very different reasons. It is unlikely that any of them would say that obtaining their divorce was easy in terms of reaching the decision and accepting it emotionally, and it is the emotional aspect of divorce which often makes the procedure so difficult to deal with. The associated concerns that people have in terms of their children and finances compound this and can complicate the legal process.

Whilst the divorce process is simpler today than it ever has been (due to recent reforms) it can seem daunting to those outside of the legal profession.

For more advice on divorce follow our family law blog or follow us on twitter @Divorce_experts.

Wednesday, July 11, 2012

NO FAULT DIVORCE – what does this mean to us?

The UK laws of divorce have not been reformed since their introduction in 1969. However there was a move and introduction to No – Fault Divorce shortly after 1970.
No-fault divorce is a divorce in which the dissolution of a marriage does not require a showing of wrong-doing by either party. Laws providing for no-fault divorce allow a family court or other court to grant a divorce in response to a petition by either party to the marriage, without requiring the petitioner to provide evidence that the respondent has committed a breach of the marital contract. Laws providing for no-fault divorce also often limit the potential legal defenses of a respondent who would prefer to remain married.
At present, couples can be legally parted within six months if one party is shown to be at fault.  The most common grounds are unreasonable behavior, which can include committing adultery or devoting too much time to one’s career.  However, more and more valid reasons are now beginning to diminish through No-fault divorces. One case consists of a Judge ruling against a woman who argued at the Court of Appeal that her husband shouldn’t have been allowed to divorce her over ‘trivial’ matters. She did not want the divorce and wanted to fight for her marriage but it was ruled against her. She is one of many.
No-fault laws take away the need to find fault. No-fault divorce law gives either party the freedom to file for divorce with only the claim of “irreconcilable differences.”
Jill Kirby, who writes about family life, said: ‘The less the courts consider fault in divorce, the greater the sense of injustice felt by the spouse who thinks he or she was not to blame. ‘If one partner abandons the other, that should be taken into account .When it comes to dividing possessions, it is extraordinary that no account is taken of adultery or other fault.’
Owen Bowcott, legal affairs correspondent, tends to take a different view. Owen states, In the 19th century and for much of the 20th, divorce was a matter of social status – it mattered whether you were divorced or not, and if you were, it was important to demonstrate that you were the ‘innocent’ party.  But Society has moved away from viewing divorce as shameful, removing the need for one partner to be deemed “innocent” to keep their social status, he said. “I am a strong believer in marriage. But I see no good arguments against no-fault divorce.”
There are certain examples with positive and negatives to a no-fault divorce. Positives such as
(According to Cathy Meyer, Guide)
-       States in America that have adopted the no- divorce law have seen a decline in the rates of domestic violence. These laws have been said to empower a man or woman in an abusive marriage and make it easier to leave.
-      And it Shortens the length of time it takes to obtain a divorce, which, in turn, shortens the amount of time in a stressful situation. etc
However in a negative example,
-      Taking away control from a spouse that is objective towards the Divorce
-      No – fault divorce has given more power to Family Court Judges in deciding issues such as custody, splitting marital assets and spousal support. When there is no one at fault, A judge’s decisions are based on his feelings and feelings are not always objective.
-      Where once the Family Court Systems allegiance was with the institution of marriage, it is now with the institution of divorce. Family Courts used to put effort into protecting the sanctity of marriage. Now the main concern is to make divorce quick and easy and get it off the docket.
It is disturbing to see how The Family Court system has now completely flipped its allegiance simply because they were tired of dealing with feuding couples. Highlighting the word ‘FAMILY’ in their name shows strong contradiction in that now what they are supporting is the exact opposite of the word.
When Divorce laws originated grounds for the divorce had to be established.  But now if one party of the marriage wants out despite the feeling of the other party it is permitted.
(According to Cathy Meyer, Guide)
A few states In America such as Louisiana, Arkansas and Arizona have now passed laws that give couples the option to choose, before they marry, which laws they would want to apply to their divorceshould the marriage end. They can choose between “covenant marriage” or the no-fault option. In covenant marriage, couples agree to pre-marital counseling and to limit the grounds and options should they decide to divorce.
Reading this, in my opinion, describes to me a loss of value in the vows and promises that are made to each other on the day of marriage, therefore a loss of value in marriage itself.
Family Court Judge Randall Hekman said, “It is easier to divorce my wife of 26 years than to fire someone I hired one week ago. The person I hire has more legal clout than my wife of 26 years. That’s wrong.”
If the value of marriage has lessened then more and more spouses are not bothered by the difficulty in divorce, therefore unfortunately no longer willing to invest as much time and energy into saving their marriage.
NO FAULT DIVORCE, so what does this mean to us? There are many angles in which the opinions of no fault divorce can be looked.  Depending on which side of the divorce a person is standing will determine the opinion. Another important question we should perhaps be asking is what does MARRIAGE mean to us?
So; Is No Fault divorce allowing relief in the stressful situation of divorce? Or is it encouraging a lack of need to fight for marriages? Either way Marriage is not something that should be entered into without the utmost care and intention to abide by the promises that are made on the day one says ‘I do.’
Till next time!
Lots of hugs

Tuesday, July 10, 2012

Cruise & Holmes do a deal

The press have today reported that Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes have concluded a divorce financial settlement  and also settled the arrangements for their daughter, Suri. Press reports suggest that a pre-nuptial agreement will have limited the amount that Cruise has paid but that Cruise has probably made a goodwill payment to bring negotiations to a swift conclusion. Of course, the exact details of the settlement are likely to be kept secret.

Reports also suggest that Holmes will have sole "custody" of Suri but that Cruise will get "significant custodial time". In the UK if parents cannot agree upon the arrangements for a child post separation then an application to the court can be made for a residence order which decides with whom the child should live  and also a contact order which will set out what the day to day arrangements are for the child such as how much time the child spends with each parent. It is however important to obtain specialist advice before applying to court because there are alternatives to court.

For more advice on divorce follow our family law blog or follow us on Twitter @divorce_experts.

Sunday, July 08, 2012

Divorce Pill

When I first saw the web site for the Divorce pill at, my reaction was it was a pill you could take to get divorced.  I thought that was a great concept. I have often had clients come to me in such distress that I they wish I could wave a magic wand and they would be divorced.  Unfortunately or not the pill does not do this but is rather a way to deal with the stress of divorce.  Some of the representations on the web site are
How the Divorce Pill Works
The Divorce Pill was specifically created to raise serotonin levels in the brain.
By using a special blend of herbs including
        St. John's Wart-to promote a positive mood,
        5-HTP- a precursor of serotonin
        Korean Ginseng- to enhance mental vitality and physical endurance
        Valerian Root- supports feelings of calmness and lowers stress levels.
        Passion Flower- encourages relaxation and Serenity
Cutting edge herbal technology, specifically blended to ease the physical and psychologically induced trauma of divorce
        Live your life to the fullest
        The Divorce Pill is perfect for people suffering from depression, anxiety, sleeplessness, and loneliness.
        Buy One Get One FREE
The Divorce Pill is perfect for people suffering from depression, anxiety, sleeplessness, and loneliness.
"The single most powerful predictor of stress-related physical, as well as emotional illness is marital disruption." National Institute of Mental Health
"The divorced or widowed are 20% more likely to have heart disease, diabetes, cancer, or other chronic conditions" Dr Mark Hayward PHD, University of Texas
"Divorce is a traumatic life event that can trigger significant symptoms of depression" The Surgeon General
"Long-term stress before, during, and after a divorce may accelerate the biologic processes that lead to cardiovascular disease and possibly other chronic diseases" Web MD
I guess we will have to continue to use the tried and true ways of getting a divorce.

As always, you can post any comment about this blog or Divorce Mediation, or just Mediation by following the directions at the right in the green column or at the bottom of this website. Learn more about mediation at WM (259) 7/8/12

Friday, July 06, 2012

Boise Family Law Lawyers - (208) 472-2383 Separate and Community Property

Separate and Community Property
As a Boise Divorce Attorney I have spoken frequently in this blog and in others about community property.  To be brief, community property is that property which is acquired during a marriage with community funds.  This is in contrast to separate property.  The distinction between the two is important because upon divorce, community property is divided equally or equitably because it belongs to both parties.  At divorce, however, separate property remains the sole property of the original owner, unless….

As a Family Law Lawyer I deal with “unless…” a lot.  How and why would separate property become an unless?  In the world of family law there is something known as comingling.  Comingling exists in divorce law as well as business law.  It is the act of mixing property or money so that the original source is unclear.  It also often entails a lack of desire to keep property separate which can indicate a sharing nature.  Because there is a mixing, the property becomes transmuted.   Transmuted is a fancy legal word for changed.  As in all these blogs, when I discuss something technical, I am sure it is clear as mud.  Let me try to remove the mud and explain.

Speaking in hypotheticals:  

Wife has cold hard cash from a previous marriage.  She marries new Husband.  Wife places her cash in her own bank account.  Wife never uses money from her account to pay for anything related to the community.  Husband and Wife get a divorce.  It is clear that Wife always kept her money separate.  She never mixed it with money from the community.  It remains her own separate property.

Now let’s take Wife and Husband again but change the circumstances a little bit.  Say Wife and Husband are married.  Say Wife’s parents die and leave her $50,000.  Inheritance, by law, is separate property.  Now let’s say that Wife puts that money into her joint savings account.  Years pass and Husband and Wife make improvements on their home with money from the savings account.  They make regular deposits into the account and make regular withdrawals for other things too, like trips, gifts and taxes.  Years pass and Wife decides she is bored and is ready to move on.  Can Husband prevent Wife from taking and claiming that $50,000 as her own separate property?  You bet he can.  He needs to have an experienced Boise Divorce Attorney who understands how funds are traced and how comingling re-characterizes the nature of separate property.  This is possible because the funds were treated as community funds.  There was never any regard for keeping the funds separate and they were used freely to benefit the community.

So the above two examples are extremes but comingling occurs all the time.  A very common example I see as a practicing divorce lawyer is when separate property funds are used to purchase a new home.  Does the investment in the new home make the separate property into a community asset?  Generally, no, because the separate funds can be traced and any increase or decrease in value can be divided proportionally. The portion that is paid for with community funds will be characterized as community property.  The portion paid for with separate funds will be characterized as separate property.

If you are getting a divorce and have community property issues we have divorce attorneys who can handle the complexities involved in dividing the marital community.  If you would like to speak with one of our family law attorneys, please give us a call at (208) 472-2383.  You will be glad you did.

Katie Holmes cruises to a big financial settlement?

Almost a week on from the shock announcement of Tom-Kat’s split the media furore surrounding the couple shows no signs of dying down. Speculation as to the likely financial settlement has only increased after Tom Cruise was named Hollywood’s highest paid actor in the Forbes Magazine rundown.

It’s estimated that Cruise earned a cool $75 million in the last year - more than twice as much as nearest rivals Leonardo Dicaprio and Adam Sandler. So does this mean that Katie Holmes is on track for a big divorce settlement? The answer is going to hinge on whether or not Tom-Kat entered into a pre-nup before their marriage and the terms of any agreement. Some reports suggest Katie may leave with what she brought to the marriage. Others say Katie is to receive $3 million for every year the couple were married. In addition Tom will have to pay child maintenance for their daughter Suri.

Pre-nuptial agreements have been big news over the last couple of years but in England they are not legally binding. Following a landmark Supreme Court decision in 2010 the English courts will take into account any pre-nup but the weight that will be given to the agreement will depend on a number of factors. The courts can choose to uphold all, some or none of the terms of a pre-nup. It’s a complicated area of the law and if you find yourself facing a split, or are thinking of entering into a pre-nup before your marriage, you should take divorce advice at an early stage from an expert family lawyer.

For more advice on divorce follow our family law blog or follow us on Twitter @divorce_experts.

Monday, July 02, 2012

Claws being sharpened in TomKat Divorce

According to media reports battlelines are already being drawn by Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes just days after she began divorce proceedings to bring an end to their five year marriage.

Katie has filed her papers in New York but Tom's lawyers it is alleged are going to argue that the divorce should take place in the Californian courts which is where the couple have had their main family base.

The Mission Impossible star's divorce solicitors it seems believe that the Californian family law courts are more likely to agree that he should have joint custody of Suri, the parties daughter, than those in New York. It is reported that Katie is seeking sole custody as she does not want Suri to be raised as a Scientologist, the religion to which Tom is devoted.

The place where divorce proceedings begin can have a huge impact on the outcome not only of arrangements for children but also on the financial divorce settlement.

Under English law both parents, if they have parental responsibility, are entitled to have a say in how a child is brought up, which includes their religious upbringing. This can lead to conflict and ultimately the family law courts can be asked to decide.

Hopefully for Suri's sake TomKat will be able to agree arrangements amicably. There are many alternatives to court to reach a divorce settlement. The signs, however, don't currently look good.

For more divorce advice read our family law blog or follow us on Twitter @Divorce_experts.

Sunday, July 01, 2012

“I’M NOT READY YET” The Price for Suffering

I’m not ready” A very common phrase we ALL use.
A case of: Not being prepared for what one is about to do or experience;
Not equipped or supplied with what is needed for some act or event,
Not prepared for immediate movement or action.
What can be debated is; whether being “Ready” is a fact of circumstance or whether it is a Mindset. I believe it is both. In a circumstance where we are aware of what is coming, it gives us a warning to prepare and choose whether or not to make ourselves ready for when that predicted situation or time comes.
In a scenario of an assignment due, if I am pro active and work on and complete this assignment shortly after it is handed to me, I can have the work handed in exactly when it is needed, avoiding the feeling of being stressed and resenting myself for not taking action sooner. Doing a rushed job, when I know I could have done better. BUT if I do however, delay the work that is required of me and push it aside to do things I enjoy or are a release when I feel it necessarily, rather than sticking it out and flourishing in the long run, I will by my OWN ACCORD put the stress on myself and when the day comes of handing in my assignment and showing my progress, I will most likely regret my action and NOT be ready. But not being “Ready” in this situation is completely determined by my actions or lack of.
In relation to Divorce, It can either be thrown at you without warning OR in other cases you have expected its arrival for quite some time. But in the same way, our response and choice of mindset is VITAL for what determines the final outcome.
Taking steps to Heal: A love/hate relationship. We select and Love the meaning of the word “HEAL” but resent the words “STEPS to getting there.” We just wish it could happen without the hard and painful work first. But unfortunately it doesn’t work that way.
Here is an excerpt from the book “Naked Divorce for Women”
“Healing is an active process, and processing all the feelings and emotions associated with your divorce is essential to getting over it. Divorce acts like a cut and if you don’t dress the wound and work on the healing it will end up with a lot of scar tissue, which will leave a lasting imprint of your life.”
It is essential to take action through a painful process. Feeling ready should never be a consideration. We may never feel ready. If we only do the things we are ready for, we would only ever do the things we already know how to do. We would never learn new things, never grow or evolve.  How else would we have learnt how to walk? To read, take up a hobby, or raise children. We become ready by trying things and failing at them and keep trying until we succeed. You don’t become ready to do anything by hesitating and waiting.
So is THE PRICE OF SUFFERING a situationthat life unfairly throws on us? Or is it the price we pay by never accepting and moving on from what Life throws at us?  Next time you use the phrase:
“I’m not ready” ask yourself if that’s the real truth, or if what you’re really saying is “I’m too afraid”
You will only feel ready to ride a bike after you have been riding it long enough that you aren’t afraid that you will fall and get hurt. Being afraid to fall is not a crime. It’s how you handle the falland how quickly you get back up.  SUFFERING doesn’t have to be completely negative. It is in the suffering that we can grow the most and open ourselves up to opportunities we never sort possible if we hadn’t first learn how to take action against pain.
Till next time!
Lots of hugs

The Maltese Divorce

As promised in my December 26, 2011 blog, I am returning to the topic of Divorce in Malta. Malta now allows divorce and the only two countries left that don’t are the Philippines and Vatican City. See article about Philippines in June 17, 2011 New York Times by Carlos H. Conde at “Philippines Stands All but Alone in Banning Divorce.”  Wikipedia now says, “Legislation introducing divorce came into effect in October 2011 following the result of a referendum on the subjectearlier in the year. It provides for no-fault divorce, with the marriage being dissolved through a Court judgmentfollowing the request of one of the parties, provided the couple has lived apart for at least four years out of the previous five and adequate alimonyis being paid or is guaranteed. The same law made a number of important changes regarding alimony, notably through extending it to children born of marriage who are still in full-time education or are disabled and through protecting alimony even after the Court pronounces a divorce.”  It is no surprise that Maltese divorce attorneys (not Maltese Falcons) are now advertising on the internet!
The following is from the web site of EMD Advocates at

“By virtue of the recent amendments to the Maltese Civil Code, brought about by Act XIV of 2011, divorce in Malta was introduced as a legal remedy which may now be claimed before the Courts of Malta. Heavily influenced by the ‘Irish model’ of divorce legislation, such amendments, in effect, carry with them a number of underlying legal implications stemming from their strategic placement within what is, essentially, a litigious-based personal separation system. Indeed, by virtue of these amendments, the legislative provisions regulating personal separation and divorce would now appear to be inextricably interlinked, with separation proceedings, possibly, serving as a prelude to the initiation of divorce proceedings in Malta.

Under the new Maltese divorce legislation, an aggrieved spouse may file an application before the Maltese Courts, asking for a judicial pronouncement of divorce if the spouses in question have been legally separated for at least four years or have lived apart for a period of, or periods that amount to, at least four years out of the immediately preceding five years. Alternatively, the spouses may file a joint demand for divorce after having reached a consensual agreement that their marriage is to be dissolved. In these circumstances, the Maltese Court must be satisfied that there exists no reasonable prospect of reconciliation between the spouses and that all of their children are, as a matter of fact, receiving adequate maintenance. The new divorce legislation in Malta also caters for the conversion of separation suits into divorce proceedings, subject to proof relating to satisfaction of the necessary preconditions associated with the pronouncement of divorce. Within this context, mediation proceedings would appear to play a more prominent role in relation to attempts at reconciling spouses who are not already legally separated, or who are not parties to a suit of personal separation, thus, also acting as the appropriate forum for negotiations conducive to the pronouncement of divorce on the basis of an agreement entered into voluntarily by the parties.

In this vein, the intricacies surrounding the regulation of maintenance awards, as well as their possible conditioning of the Maltese divorce proceedings as a whole will, undoubtedly, provide fertile ground for the gradual judicial development of structured principles apt to provide greater consistency and stability. Within this context, specialized legal advice is clearly of the essence in choosing between the carefully-constructed routes now available under Maltese law.

Our legal team enjoys vast experience in dealing with contentious family law matters and, while embracing the challenges brought about by the recent legislative amendments regarding divorce in Malta, looks forward to providing the necessary individual attention essential to the fulfillment of each client’s personal expectations.”

In particular I like when they say,”… mediation proceedings would appear to play a more prominent role in relation to attempts at reconciling spouses who are not already legally separated, or who are not parties to a suit of personal separation, thus, also acting as the appropriate forum for negotiations conducive to the pronouncement of divorce on the basis of an agreement entered into voluntarily by the parties.”

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