The story is appalling. 13 year-old Hanna, adopted from Ethiopia by Carri and Larry Williams, tortured and beaten by her parents until her young body could take no more. A younger adopted brother, also beaten and tortured by the parents. Investigators and prosecutors proclaimed it was one of the worst cases of abuse they had ever seen.
Paradise, CA. Lydia and Zariah, from Liberia, beaten repeatedly by their adoptive parents Kevin and Elizabeth Schatz. Zariah requires hospitalization to recover from the abuse, 7 year-old Lydia dies from the trauma after 7-hours of being beaten, interrupted only for prayer.
These two tragedies have a few common themes: all of the parents believed in the philosophy of “spare the rod, spoil the child”, explicitly advocated for in the book “To Train Up A Child” by Michael and Debi Pearl (1994). All of these adults also identified themselves as devote Christians.
In the introduction of his 1994 book, Pearl states “…the same principles the Amish use to train their stubborn mules, the same techniques God uses to train His children.” In another section he explains, “Any spanking, to effectively reinforce instruction, must cause pain.” There is a section entitled “obedience training”. Pearl’s gives explicit descriptions of objects parents should use to “discipline” their children. This includes a 15” long, 1/4” diameter plastic plumbing line. Both the Schatz’s and the Williams’ used a plumbing line like this to beat their children.
Michael Pearl is a preacher from Tennessee who founded No Greater Joy Ministries, Inc. with his wife Debi. Pearl’s website states he holds a BS from Crichton College (field of study isn’t offered) and on the “meet the Pearls page” he is listed as a graduate of Mid-South Bible College in Memphis. Mid-South’s website describes the college as preparation for individuals wanting to go into Christian ministry work. Programs offered include Bachelors degrees in Christian Education, Christian Ministry, and Christian Leadership. Notably absent is any degree related to child development.
It is curious that Pearl’s website is full of ads for visitors to spend their hard-earned dollars at his store, complete with the lure of free shipping on orders over $75. A visit to the store allows you to buy books on topics from marriage to child rearing to “Holy Sex”, comic book bibles, audios, videos, software ministry tools, and NGJ’s Home in a Business Box. It seems that Michael and Debi Pearl are getting rich off of their “ministry”. Interesting is their ability to sell themselves as “experts” on such a diverse array of topics. No one, however, forced parents to adhere to Pearl’s misguided and dangerous advice on parenting.
What is most appalling in these stories is the thoughtlessness and lack of discernment exercised by individuals seeking parenting advice. When it comes to raising children, one would hope that parents wouldn’t believe any piece of rubbish published or on the Internet. Why wouldn’t a parent want a qualified expert giving advice on how to effectively discipline and raise children? Would you go to a preacher to have your annual physical exam? Following Pearl’s advice on parenting and discipline makes about as much sense. Pearl states he is an expert on parenting due to raising 5 children and having 18 grandchildren. Carri and Larry Williams had 8 children; Kevin and Elizabeth Schatz had 6 biological children and 3 adopted children. Clearly, being a parent does not make you an expert on parenting or a decent human being.
It’s time to stop the bullshit. Listening to any crackpot that comes along to justify your sadistic tendencies is wrong. Physically harming an innocent, defenseless child is morally corrupt. Comparing training animals to raising children is insane. Anyone who advocates carrying around a pocket switch to beat your child with should be vigorously questioned and avoided. Violence teaches violence. Viewing your child as the enemy is a clear sign that you need professional help.
Children do not need to be “controlled” or “obedient”. Children learn by exploring their environment. Raising your children in a loving home, teaching them to care about others, and offering them security and safety is the job of parents. Children who are shown respect will treat others with respect. Children who are raised as Pearl advocates turn into adults with anger and mental health issues that will spill over to future generations. Teaching our children coping techniques, setting and enforcing appropriate limits and boundaries, and practicing what you preach go a long way toward raising good, productive, loving children.
Shame on Michael and Debi Pearl for using religion as a ruse to make money. Shame on the Pearl’s for spreading ignorance that maims and destroys innocent children. We are all responsible for our actions and behaviors. Parents need to be educated and trained on appropriate, effective and humane ways to raise their children. It is the responsibility of parents to protect and care for their children. In my next article I will review research by the experts on appropriate parenting techniques. Get the facts.
Kimberly A. Kick, LCSW
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