The idea of a weekend without your children may be a nice break for many parents. I love my boys more than anything. I also cherish my quiet moments, because they are very few and far between. And when I don’t get enough “me time”, I feel like I can’t breathe, I’m stressed, my boys seem determined to stretch my last nerve into dust, and I want to scream. But when you are going through a divorce, negotiating alternating weekends with the other parent can feel gut-wrenching. The idea of time without your children becomes painful; no longer a positive “me time”. I’ve written many articles on “perspective” in conflict situations. Here, perspective, more than ever, can affect how you view this part of the process, and how you can strengthen your relationship with your children and make this a positive experience for them and for you.
It is very easy to miss those “family moments” in the hustle and bustle of daily life. We have to get the kids’ breakfasts ready, lunches packed, get them to school on time, get to work, prepare for our meetings, pick them up from school, get them to karate and tutoring, help them with their homework, prepare them for their spelling and geography tests, get dinner ready, make sure teeth are brushed, put them to bed, clean the dishes, and pay the bills. When the weekend arrives, you have soccer games, laundry, groceries, and so on. Family nights are difficult for most and usually only one night out of the week, if at all. What if you could get all the other “stuff” out of the way with when the kids are not with you? Where would your focus be when they are? What if you had an evening to get a massage, or go to dinner with your friends - “me time”? How would you feel when it’s “your weekend” with the children?
No one likes not being able to have their children with them when they want. No one likes wanting to have some time to themselves, when they can’t. It’s all a matter of perspective. Shared parenting allows you to take the time you need to get yourself relaxed, centered, and focused for when your children are with you. If you are relaxed, centered, and focused when your children are with you, your children will feel relaxed, centered, and loved. Truly in the “best interests of the children”.