As a child of divorce I was often times placed in the middle of my parents arguments. At 7 years old I remember the day my father moved out. That was only the beginning of years of my parents arguing, as well as court appearances. Since I was the oldest child in the house, I was the one who was told things that I shouldn’t have been told. I was the one who was given the child support check by my father to give to my mother. It goes on and on. Introduce a step father and things get even more complicated. Ten years later my mother was on her second divorce.
I myself have been divorced for 7 years. The experiences I have gone through with my own parents’ divorces as well as my own divorce has led me to create a tool that could take the children out of the middle. As a child I often wondered why parents couldn’t just STOP, think, and then work it out. I now know why, emotions and the belief that they were right. The tool I have created takes the emotions out of the equation and focuses on what matters most, the children. This website, www.allaboutthechildren.us was created out of years of frustration with my parents arguing and the lack of help received by the legal system. As a child, I thought the legal system should have done more to help us children of divorce; somehow pull us out of the middle.
It wasn’t until I was much older and divorced myself that I realized the legal system isn’t there to listen to how the children feel. The legal system consists of family judges who hear thousands and thousands of unique cases of divorce each year and have to make decisions within minutes as opposed to hearing what is really going on in each persons life, especially when it comes to the children. I may sound bitter about the system but as I have stood before these judges as a teenager in the middle of my parents issues and now as a parent protecting my own two children, I have experienced it all. There has been some good that has come out of some of the court experiences, and those days are wonderful. Those are the days you walk out of court smiling and think everything is going to be okay.
I have decided to blog my experiences as a child of divorce, a mother who is divorced with two children, and as someone who “gets it”. All of which has led to the creation of www.allaboutthechildren.us. This website was created for those children who don’t have a voice in court .............yet are screaming for help.
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Join me in creating a journal of divorce experiences.