Maureen Dowd wrote a wonderful column in the Sunday, July 6, 2008, New York Times entitled "An Ideal Husband. See the entire article at
http://www.nytimes.com/2008/07/06/opinion/06dowd.html?ex=1373083200&en=fbf7febd9931c3f7&ei=5124&partner=permalink&exprod=permalink I usually read her columns first when I start to read the New York Times. Women I discussed the article with said what she said was obvious. Men did not. She discussed a lecture given by Father Pat Connor entitled, "Whom Not to Marry."
She quotes some of this rules which I repeat here.
1. Never marry a man who has no friends.
2. Does he use money responsibly? He is he stingy?
3. Steer clear of someone whose life you can run, who never makes demands counter to yours.
4. Is he overly attached to his mother and her mythical apron strings?
5. Does he have a sense of humor?
6. The strong silent type can be charming but ultimately destructive.
7. Don’t marry a problem character thinking you will change him.
8. Take a good, unsentimental look at his family - you will learn a lot about him and his attitude toward women.
9. Are his goals and deepest belief’s worthy and similar to yours?
10. Does he possess those character traits that add up to a good human being - willingness to forgive, praise, be courteous?
Others like the column too and wrote some great letters to the editor on July 10. See them at http://www.nytimes.com/2008/07/09/opinion/l09dowd.html?ex=1373342400&en=102e7802513dc05f&ei=5124&partner=permalink&exprod=permalink
In particular I like the following letter by Susan Striker:
I am a twice-divorced woman, and after my second divorce I sat down and wrote a message to women, including these words of advice:
Never marry a man who yells at you in front of his friends.
Never marry a man who is more affectionate in public than in private.
Never marry a man who notices all of your faults but never notices his own.
Never marry a man whose first wife had to sue him for child support.
Never marry a man who corrects you in public.
Never marry a man who sends birthday cards to his ex-girlfriends.
Never marry a man who doesn’t treat his dog nicely.
Never marry a man who is rude to waiters.
Never marry a man who doesn’t love music.
Never marry a man whose plants are all dead.
Never marry a man your mother doesn’t like.
Never marry a man your children don’t like.
Never marry a man who hates his job.
Never marry a man who doesn’t give you lovely and romantic gifts for your birthday and Valentine’s Day.
Never marry a man who yells at you in front of his friends.
Never marry a man who is more affectionate in public than in private.
Never marry a man who notices all of your faults but never notices his own.
Never marry a man whose first wife had to sue him for child support.
Never marry a man who corrects you in public.
Never marry a man who sends birthday cards to his ex-girlfriends.
Never marry a man who doesn’t treat his dog nicely.
Never marry a man who is rude to waiters.
Never marry a man who doesn’t love music.
Never marry a man whose plants are all dead.
Never marry a man your mother doesn’t like.
Never marry a man your children don’t like.
Never marry a man who hates his job.
Never marry a man who doesn’t give you lovely and romantic gifts for your birthday and Valentine’s Day.
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