Numerous studies over the years have cited finances as a major cause of conflict in relationships. It is naive to think that once the couple parts, these disputes will merely fade away. On the contrary, many individuals cite finances as one of the top arguments engaged in with an ex-partner. What makes it worse? When children are dragged into financial disagreements and disputes.
Arguments about money can, and usually do, get ugly quick. Just ask the co-founder of All About The Children at www.divorcecommunications.com, Cathy Chestler. Cathy recounts having to go to court on behalf of her father take the stand with both of her parents present, to testify. She recalls being asked by her father’s lawyer if their was enough food in the house, and how often groceries were placed in the refrigerator. Her father’s lawyer presented her with checks written by her mother to her and asked her if she really received them or if they were falsified. “Sitting up on the stand, looking at my mother on one side, and my father on the other, was one of the worst experiences of my life. The fear and confusion was overwhelming and as I stepped down from the stand, I broke down.” The lawyer was obviously attempting to insinuate that her mother was not using the child support for the children. This is an experience in Cathy’s life that isn’t easily forgotten. She felt pulled between her parents and was in a no-win situation. Indeed this caused relationship issues for her with her parents and siblings for some time afterwards.
Most parents would state that the best interest of the child is their main concern. Sit in family court for a morning and you will see that this concern is easily forgotten when finances enter the picture. Financial disagreements lead to anger, hurt, and accusations of wrong-doing by both parties. Many males question whether or not the child support they pay is going for their children. Many females question how their ex-partner possibly thinks they are contributing enough money for the children not to suffer and maintain the lifestyle they were accustomed to pre-divorce.
Easing financial disputes is essential if the needs of the children are going to be put first by both parents. This hasn’t been accomplished for many ex-partners by numerous court appearances and legal fees. What is the solution? Most ex-partners question where the money goes; if money has been sent, there can be disagreement about where it was applied. Financial disputes are easily resolved and tracked when both parties use Money Matters, one of the key components to All About The Children’s www.divorcecommunications.com website.
In Money Matters financial transactions are tracked for members through the website; bills are posted, money is transferred from one parent’s checking or savings account to the other parent’s account. The money is applied directly to the bill posted. Partial transactions are recorded and the amount still owed is noted. All of these transactions are date and time stamped, including when a bill was posted. There can be no disagreement about paying an expense or when it was paid, as all of the information is objective, secure, and cannot be altered.
Take action and resolve financial disputes by utilizing All About The Children, the premiere divorce communications website that does what no other divorce tool does, resolves financial disputes through direct payment that is tracked.
We continue to monitor the bill in the Arizona legislature to extend the waiting period for divorce. The Senate approved a revised version of the bill (SB1199) at the end of March. See Howard Fischer’s article in March 30, 2010 Arizona Daily Star at http://azstarnet.com/news/local/govt-and-politics/article_5030800b-1e41-51c8-a4c5-eeaed0d99115.html?mode=story This bill is an improvement of the older bill. It allows the divorce to be granted sooner if both parties agree. This works very well for mediated divorces where the parties do agree on everything. It will give divorcing couples another good reason to mediate their divorce. We will continue to keep you posted on this very important bill.