I have been divorced for 7 years, separated for 9. In those years my x-husband has deteriorated in every sense of the word. He would forget to pick up the kids for visitation or he would lock the door to his house when he knew the kids would be walking over after school and he would not be there. I remember the frantic calls from my 10 and 11-year-old children, standing at a neighbor’s house, not knowing where their dad was. Oh, and the excuses for not paying child support, which to this day still occurs. And me, I was always making things okay for everyone. I would make excuses for their dad so that the children didn’t have to feel bad that he would always forget about them. I was so far in debt trying to take care of the children as a single mother, working full time, while my x-husband would not even be working!
When did I wake up? I woke up when I began a new relationship and my partner asked why I was still taking care of my x-husband. At first I explained that if I wasn’t there to make things okay for everyone, my x-husband would not treat the kids right and the kids would see their father for who he really was, and that would hurt them. The extent of what I had gone through to take care of not only my children but also my x-husband was remarkable. Here I was, covering for him on a consistent basis.
I look back now and can’t believe all that I went through just to cover for my x-husband, always making excuses for him to the children. It has been some years since I have covered for my x. What happened when I stopped covering for him to the children? Stay tuned as it gets very ugly and I also try to utilize the courts for help.
Has anyone else ever covered for their x? If so, for how long? Why? Did it ever stop? If so, what made it stop?
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