Often repeated, rarely heard; the key to good communication is being a good listener. The majority of us do not come by listening, really listening, easily. We tend to believe that we listen when someone else is talking to us, but what are we really doing? We may be thinking of how we are going to respond, how to get out of engaging in further conversation, that we are right and the other person just doesn’t get it, or a host of other things. The reality is if you are thinking of your next move in the conversation, you aren’t really listening to the other person.
Frequent interruptions are one sign that you aren’t listening. If you find yourself interrupting others when they talk, then you probably aren’t listening, but instead focused on making your point. Try waiting until the other person finishes his or her thought before speaking.
Improving your listening skills takes practice. If you find yourself contemplating what you are going to say next, becoming too emotional, or judging the other person, try taking a step back. Listen to the other person and ask for clarification. It is always a good idea to check out comments made by the other person instead of assuming their intention. Don’t interrupt and really try to hear what the other person is saying without immediate judgment or reactions.
We all respond more positively when we feel heard, really heard.
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