Tuesday, May 18, 2010

Changes in Self Kimberly A. Kick, LCSW

I just finished recording a presentation entitled “Maintaining Your Identity While Being a Great Mom” with Shirley Dudley of Marriage & Family Affiliates. This presentation prompted thoughts about how our identities and roles change with the end of a relationship. We identify ourselves by the various roles we have in life. This can include: parent, job title, partner, child, friend, and family relations.

However, no life change affects our lives in quite the way the breakup of a relationship does, especially if there are children. Not only do we go from being in a relationship to being single, we also instantly become a single parent. There is no manual telling us how to negotiate this drastic life change. Many people report feeling lost and not knowing who they are or how they should act. Along with the breakup there is frequently a change in one’s income level and one’s living arrangement.

Some tips for recreating your sense of self through these changes can help ease the transition. One of the first tips is to figure out something that you enjoy, then start doing it. It is important to identify yourself in your new role as a single person. Interacting with a good social support system is also important. This may entail forming new friendships as old ones may be lost after the breakup. Remember, change can be positive over time if you set goals for yourself and then focus on achieving them.

Moms, you can register for the webinar “Time for Mom” with great topics to help you help yourself. Register by going to http://www.marriageandfamilyonlineconferencesaffiliates.com/idevaffiliate.php?id=108