When Should you get your Legal Fees paid during Divorce?

When is it appropriate to be awarded your legal fees and costs from the opposing party in your Divorce case? Judges have the discretion, subject to certain factors and considerations. Get a professional opinion regarding your case.

What constitutes Equitable Division?

South Carolina courts have determined that equitable division of the marital estate needs to be "appropriate." But what is appropriate in the eyes of the law? There is a trend in courts for an equal apportionment of marital property. While it is in the discretion of the Judge, there are several factors that should be considered including the length of the marriage, fault of parties, assets and debts, etc. Take a look at this case for more information.

Appointed Counsel in Child Support Cases?

While Courts appoints counsel in abuse and neglect cases involving the Department of Social Services, should they do the same for Child Support Contempt cases?

Pro Se Divorce - Is it a good or bad thing?

The South Carolina Bar website now offers instructions and forms that allow individuals to represent themselves in family court regarding divorces on one year continuous separation or 'no fault' divorces as they are commonly called. This "Self-Represented Litigant Simple Divorce Packet" is available for both Plaintiffs and Defendants involved in the litigation. There are differing opinions on providing the forms online, however, it will definitely be useful to those who feel comfortable navigating their way through the legal system. Are there any thoughts or opinions regarding the forms? Has anyone used them?

Divorce Japan Style - the Splitter-Uppers

I have always been a firm believer in no fault divorce. I always remember when I was a law student and had a summer job working for legal services. I was in court helping an attorney with a divorce. Connecticut then did not have any fault divorce and you had to show physical manifestation of intolerable cruelty. It was not unusual for a person to say they could not sleep or were putting on weight or were losing weight. A woman why must have weighed 400 pounds gets on the stand and testifies how she is losing weight because of her husband’s intolerable cruelty. The judge listens to what she says and then leans close to her and says, “You should stay married a little longer.” Fault divorce causes all sorts of mischief. A May 10, 2010 article in TimesOnline by Richard Lloyd Parry, entitled, “Sex, lies and splitting up Want to dump a troublesome husband, or unsuitable boyfriend? Just call Osamu Tomiya and his team of splitter-uppers, but you’ll have to move to Japan,” reminded me of the problems with fault divorce. See the entire article at

http://women.timesonline.co.uk/tol/life_and_style/women/relationships/article7119999.ece
The article says, “The whole thing was masterminded by Mr “Ota” — real name Osamu Tomiya — a member of a peculiarly Japanese profession, part-private investigator, part-prostitute, known as wakaresase-ya — the “splitter-uppers”.
The function of the wakaresase-ya is the direct opposite of a dating agency: with great ingenuity, and the right fee, they will pry apart human relationships. Do you have a troublesome ex-boyfriend who won’t leave you alone? A beloved son who is getting engaged to an unsuitable girl? A dead-loss employee who refuses to take the hint and retire? All of these difficult situations can be resolved by the splitter-uppers.
Also see follow up article in http://www.divorcesaloon.com/japan-professional-marriage-splitter-upper-takeshi-kuwabara-gets-17-years-for-strangling-lover-rie-isohata in Divorce Saloon which says, “Japan, apparently, is a “fault” jurisdiction which means in order to get out of a marriage, folks have to prove grounds. The reason I surmise this to be so is that there seems to be a custom in Japan where married folks hire wakaresaseyas (in English, “marriage splitter uppers”) to seduce their unsuspecting spouses so that these folks can have grounds for the divorce.”
This is all compounded by each state having its own divorce laws and standards which causes some forum shopping.
This is another reason I like mediation. These kinds of problems rarely come up in a mediated divorce.
As always, you can post any comment about this blog or Divorce Mediation, or just Mediation by following the directions at the right in the green column or at the bottom of this website. Learn more about mediation at http://www.center-divorce-mediation.com/ WM(176) 5/20/10

I thought it would be fun to use the Word translation program and do this blog in Japanese too.

私は常に固く障害離婚されていません。 私は常に私の法律の学生だったし、法的サービスの使用は夏の仕事をしていた覚えています。 私は裁判所の弁護士は離婚を支援していた。 コネチカット [任意フォールト離婚はありませんでしたと耐えられない虐待の物理的な症状を表示する必要があります。 寝ることがない、または重量をかけていたまたは重量を失っていたと言う人は珍しいことではなかった。 なぜ 400 ポンドを検討している必要がありますにスタンドを取得し、どのように彼女は夫の耐えられない虐待のため重量を失いつつある証言している女性。 裁判官彼女の言い分をリッスンして [彼女の近くに傾いていると言う"をもう少し結婚して滞在する必要があります。 フォールト離婚は、あらゆる種類のいたずらが発生します。 2010 年 5 月 10 日の記事で TimesOnline でリチャード ・ ロイドと題して、パリー、「性別、嘘と、面倒な夫、または不適切なボーイ フレンドをダンプするかを分割するか？ ちょうど修富谷と彼のチームの分割-甲、呼び出しが日本には、移動する必要があります」障害離婚の問題私を思い出した。 資料によると、http://women.timesonline.co.uk/tol/life_and_style/women/relationships/article7119999.ece ですべての記事を参照してください"全体物氏「太田」で masterminded いた — 本物修富谷を名前 —、peculiarly 日本職業一部と民間調査官、一部-売春婦、のメンバー wakaresase として知られている-屋 —、「分割-甲」. wakaresase の機能-屋は出会い系の会社の正反対です: 偉大な工夫と右の手数料を彼ら以外の人間関係が外してされます。 面倒な元 - 人は、そのままはありません彼氏ですか？ 人、不適切な女の子に行ってきです、最愛の息子ですか？ ヒントを取るし、引退することを拒否、死者損失従業員ですか？ これらすべての困難な状況は、スプリッター甲で解決できます。 参考資料に離婚は、「日本はどうやらアウト結婚を取得するには、「障害」の管轄権は、人々 がある根拠を証明する。 サロンで http://www.divorcesaloon.com/japan-professional-marriage-splitter-upper-takeshi-kuwabara-gets-17-years-for-strangling-lover-rie-isohata を実行します 私はこの推測のでこと、カスタムどこ結婚されていた人々 の wakaresaseyas (英語、「結婚スプリッター甲は") でこれらの人々 離婚根拠があるできるように彼ら疑いを持たない配偶者を誘惑する雇う日本であるようです。」 これすべてフォーラム買い物が独自の離婚の法律と基準を持つ各状態が悪化します。 これは調停が好きの理由です。 このような問題はほとんど仲介離婚に来る。 いつものように、右にある [緑] 列またはこのウェブサイトの下部の指示に従うによってこのブログや離婚調停、またはちょうど仲介に関する任意のコメントを投稿できます。 http://www.center-divorce-mediation.com/WM(176) で調停について 5/20/10

Changes in Self Kimberly A. Kick, LCSW

I just finished recording a presentation entitled “Maintaining Your Identity While Being a Great Mom” with Shirley Dudley of Marriage & Family Affiliates. This presentation prompted thoughts about how our identities and roles change with the end of a relationship. We identify ourselves by the various roles we have in life. This can include: parent, job title, partner, child, friend, and family relations.

However, no life change affects our lives in quite the way the breakup of a relationship does, especially if there are children. Not only do we go from being in a relationship to being single, we also instantly become a single parent. There is no manual telling us how to negotiate this drastic life change. Many people report feeling lost and not knowing who they are or how they should act. Along with the breakup there is frequently a change in one’s income level and one’s living arrangement.

Some tips for recreating your sense of self through these changes can help ease the transition. One of the first tips is to figure out something that you enjoy, then start doing it. It is important to identify yourself in your new role as a single person. Interacting with a good social support system is also important. This may entail forming new friendships as old ones may be lost after the breakup. Remember, change can be positive over time if you set goals for yourself and then focus on achieving them.

Moms, you can register for the webinar “Time for Mom” with great topics to help you help yourself. Register by going to http://www.marriageandfamilyonlineconferencesaffiliates.com/idevaffiliate.php?id=108

DNA of Divorce

There is often a convergence of discoveries that change the world. For thousands of years man wanted to fly and yet in the space of a few years, a few people built planes that flew. The same thing is true with the atomic bomb, the telegraph, the telephone, and many other inventions and discoveries. There usually is some underlying discovery which is the catalyst or there is a synergy when someone puts together to independent ideas. This is the concept of multiple discovery which states that most scientific discoveries and inventions are made independently and more or less simultaneously by multiple scientists and inventors. See also article in May 13, 2010 New Yorker entitled In the Air Who Says Big Ideas are Rare? by Malcolm Gladwell at http://www.newyorker.com/reporting/2008/05/12/080512fa_fact_gladwell.
I thought about this when I read the article in the May 11, 2010 New York Times by Tara Parker-Pope entitled "The Science of a Happy Marriage" and watched on NBC Night News and read in the paper about obtaining your own personal genetic history. NBC indicated that Walgreens was planning to sell the Pathway Genomic home test kit under the brand Insight. (Walgreens put a hold on the next day until they could get clearance from the FDA). According to Pam Stephan, "The Pathway Genomics Insight kit, marketed to "Discover Your DNA." is simple to use - just swab the inside of your cheek, slip the sample in a vial, and mail it away. Pathway Genomics will check your genetic risk for more than 26 diseases and conditions, and send you a report online." Tar Parker-Pope says that "recent studies have raised questions about whether genetic factors may influence commitment and marital stability. See full article at
http://well.blogs.nytimes.com/2010/05/10/tracking-the-science-of-commitment.
If you combine these two ideas, something startling happens. With a swab of a Q-tip, you soon will be able to determine if a potential spouse has the genetic factor which will influence marital stability. Do people want to know if they are at risk to get a disease? Will they want to know the risk of marital stability? Is this our Brave New World? Only time will tell.
As always, you can post any comment about this blog or Divorce Mediation, or just Mediation by following the directions at the right in the green column or at the bottom of this website. Learn more about mediation at http://www.center-divorce-mediation.com/ WM(175) 5/13/10

www.DivorceCommunications.com airs on CBS

Watch our interview with Vince Gerasole today at 5:00 pm in Chicago on CBS. Our website has been picked up by the media and they love it!

5 Financial and Income Tax Pitfall to Avoid in Matrimonial Dissolution

My friend Arnold is a CPA. We often discuss the tax aspects of divorce. Recently over dinner in Tucson, he recently gave me an article by John F. Raspante, CPA and Arthur Garcia, Esq. from a publication of the New York Society of Certified Public Accountants dated of all dates April 15, 2010 entitled "5 Financial and Income Tax Pitfall to Avoid in Matrimonial Dissolution." I knew the items but they are worth repeating.

Pitfall 1: Sale of Principal Residence – Capital Gains
Pitfall 2: Qualified Domestic Relations Order (QDRO) – Alternate Payee (Pension)
Pitfall 3: Insuring the Property Settlement – The Revenge of Death (Life Insurance)
Pitfall 4: Unsecured Debt – The Irresponsible Former Spouse
Pitfall 5: Closely Held Business – The Investigation and Valuation

When you get a divorce you should make sure these and many more pitfalls are discussed with your mediator, attorney, and accountant.

As always, you can post any comment about this blog or Divorce Mediation, or just Mediation by following the directions at the right in the green column or at the bottom of this website. Learn more about mediation at http://www.center-divorce-mediation.com/ WM(174) 5/4/10